Letter 105

Revered Elder Master, in your compassion:

Yesterday, this humble disciple wrote a letter seeking your instruction. At present, I am truly troubled and confused. Therefore, this morning I came to the temple to seek divination from the Buddhas and bodhisattvas. My mind is vexed, and I do not wish to remain here, yet I cannot decide where to go; thoughts of gain and loss are always on my mind. The divination said that in August I may set out for Bailin Temple or the Northeast. But after going, obstacles in my relations with others will make things unfavorable.

It also said that the prospects for future practice are only ordinary, whereas returning to lay life would be advantageous. There is an affinity for this, and it will occur seven years hence. Not long after I left home last year, I met a certain teacher who said that I “might break the precepts.” These words occasionally arise in my mind, and I suppose he must have had some reason for saying them. At the time, this foolish disciple said that I would rather return to lay life than break the precepts.

All this seems to indicate that the outlook is indeed unfavorable, so my foremost wish is not to break the precepts and fall into evil retribution. To realize one’s original nature and transcend birth and death is not something that can be accomplished merely by wishing for it. I beg the Venerable Master to compassionately guide this humble disciple, so that I may ultimately fulfill my aspiration. At present I am confused; my practice cannot advance, and my mind cannot settle. Alas, how difficult practice is! Bad habits are hard to eradicate.

[Zhijun: Do not pass this letter on to so-and-so. I have already replied to him in another letter. Since his worldly passions are stirring and he is thinking of returning to lay life and going elsewhere, there is no benefit in reluctantly trying to keep him. Let him be free to stay or leave.

Studying Buddhism and cultivating the Way are by no means trivial matters; only a magnanimous and resolute person can undertake them. How could a person of limited capacity bear such a responsibility? So-and-so’s ordinary mind has not yet died away. Without undergoing great hardship, how can he awaken? This departure will not only fail to go as he wishes, but will also bring him the sufferings of instability and hardship. Such are the consequences that deluded people bring upon themselves! How lamentable!] [What you fear is that, when people leave, the temple will be empty.

That is of no consequence. Do you not have several capable people? Simply send one person to reside at the temple. Moreover, in propagating the Dharma, when there is affinity, one guides sentient beings; when there is no affinity, one attends to one’s own liberation. It does not depend on whether Buddhist activities flourish or not. Why brood over this? When Buddhist disciples with affinity come to take refuge, I will introduce them to you to reside at the temple. Very well—put everything down and let so-and-so be free to stay or leave. He simply lacks the good fortune to benefit from being here.]

So-and-so joins palms and bows in homage

Second day of the seventh lunar month, 1994

[Young Disciple Yongshou] Looking back on those days, I do not know how many times my habitual tendencies flared up. I too was like this—so pitiable. More than one Dharma brother has lamented: “Helplessly, the flowers fall away.”

[LVM] One premise must be observed: before publishing another person’s letters, you must obtain that person’s consent. Do not rashly infringe upon another’s right to privacy! It was already inappropriate to post them in the Inner Court. If the manuscripts are to be compiled, all letters written by other people must be deleted!