Letter Forty-Seven

With reverence, I bow to the Venerable Master:

I bow to the Buddha, I bow to the Dharma, and I bow to the Saṅgha.

If one has no worries, one need not fear a wrinkled face; if one does not age, why worry about a white head? Recently, I have indeed begun to feel a faint sense of “anxiety.” Since one thousand sessions require only three years, and I have practiced for more than two years, I have yet to break open my original nature. [Diligent practice cannot rely solely on two hours of seated meditation. At all times, keep the mind empty and non-abiding, and you will naturally accord with it. Practice must not be interrupted even when traveling on business.]

] In fact, this “anxiety” is attachment; it is precisely an obstacle to realizing the mind and seeing one’s true nature. [You have identified the root of the illness.] During the Venerable Master’s retreat for recuperation, three people actually sent letters to the Venerable Master through me, disturbing his peace and quiet. I am truly ashamed. Liu ×× seems to have become a wild Chan practitioner and now declares that he will devote himself to the Pure Land.

[Excellent, excellent! If only he can behold Amitābha, why worry that he will not awaken?] I fear that “without vows, one becomes a companion of demons; without precepts, one becomes absurd.” [You worry too much about this!] Brother Li has already written a letter to Master Xu requesting instruction in the Dharma and is preparing to go to Shanghai.

Wu ×× has the sharpest faculties, but what can be done if his conditions have not yet matured? In truth, if he could recognize his own original nature upon hearing the Venerable Master’s words, the bonds of family would be empty in their very substance. He once asked me about the saying, “When two monks chant together, which is host and which is guest?” But I feared that a direct answer would obstruct his gate to awakening, so I said nothing. [This young man needs to apply himself diligently for some time before he can get anywhere.

He absolutely must not take a little cleverness, or some sharp-turn phrases and Chan terminology picked up secondhand, to be realization of the Way. Still less should he seek news from the lips of others!] There are two further koans in the Venerable Master’s A Brief Discussion of Realizing the Mind and Seeing One’s True Nature. This disciple will try to answer them. The first: Xuefeng said, “To speak of this matter is like an ancient mirror: when a Hu comes, a Hu appears; when a Han comes, a Han appears.”

Xuansha said, “What if the mirror itself should come?” Answer: “Break the mirror and come to meet it.” Asked, “Once the mirror is broken, how can one see?” This disciple answered, “Just then one sees that all phenomena are empty.” Or one might say, “It is just like lightning vanishing in empty space!” [Not there yet! Say more!]

The second: An old master said, “This old monk has a garment bestowed by his mother at birth and needs no winter clothes.”

Asked, “What garment did you wear before your mother gave birth to you?” This disciple answered, “I neither wear a cangue nor bear shackles!” [The lid and the box do not fit!] Xiuming once asked Zhiming, “Suchness and intrinsic nature are neither within, nor without, nor in between. Where, ultimately, are they?” Zhiming wished to answer, “They are within, without, and in between. [You are caught in it!] From moment to moment, they never leave the present place!” [Somewhat better!] But he did not say it aloud. Xiuming is still investigating. Ah, this disciple has started talking nonsense again. I respectfully request the Venerable Master’s criticism.

Your disciples, Zhiming and Xiuming, bow in reverence

February 6, 1992

[Yongshou Tongzi] Before and after one thousand sessions is a hurdle; it seems that no one is without “anxiety.” It is unlike the time of two or three hundred sessions, when changes in experience were numerous and each day brought something new. My state of mind then was that I could not bear simply to pass my life in such ordinariness.

[LVM] Ordinary mind is the Way; a straightforward mind is the place of practice. The minds of sentient beings are not ordinary, because they have added an extra lump of “greed, anger, ignorance, pride, and doubt.”

[Yongshou Tongzi] Watching the exchanges of Chan repartee between teachers and masters, I am reminded of a Chan master’s words: “For ten thousand ages, the moon in the emerald pool illumines the empty realm; only after dredging again and again does one come to know.”

[LVM] “I laugh at myself for having drawn patterns in those years—how many times red, how many times black. Now I take leave of my master and return home in old age; why care whether I have attained anything in this life?”